Let's face it - English is a stupid language!

There is no egg in an eggplant,

No ham in a hamburger,

And neither pine nor apple in a pineapple.

English muffins were not invented in England,

and French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted, but if we examine its paradoxes we find that:

- Quicksand takes you down slowly,

- Boxing rings are square,

- And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor a pig.

Having established that, we may ask:

- If writers write, how come fingers don't fing?

- If the plural of tooth is teeth, shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth?

- If the teacher taught, why hasn't the preacher praught?

- And if a vegetarian eats vegetables, what the heck does a humanitarian eat?

Why do people:

- Recite at a play, yet play at a recital?

- Park on driveways and drive on parkways?

And how can the weather be as hot as hell on one day and as cold as hell on another?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language where a house can burn up as it burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out; and a bell is only heard once it goes!

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race. (Which of course isn't a race at all.) That is why:

When the stars are out they are visible, but when the lights are out they are invisible. And why when I wind up my watch it starts, but when I wind up this poem it ends.

And yet we love it...

Yes, English is indeed a stupid language that offers anyone trying to master it great resistance. But it is also a marvellously rich and colourful language that we feel very passionate about. Indeed, it was our love of this language and our desire to share that love with other people that created the embryo that would evolve into Atkins Academy.

As an academic discipline, English Studies includes the study of:

Literature: including literature from the UK, U.S., Ireland, Australia, Canada, New Zealand, Hong Kong, the Phillipines, India, South Africa, the Middle East and any other area where English is a first language.

Linguistics: including phonetics, phonology, syntax, morphology, semantics, pragmatics, corpus and stylistics. 

Sociolinguistics: including discourse analysis of written and spoken texts in the English language, the history of the English language, English language learning and teaching and the study of World Englishes. Yes, there is more than one English...

At Atkins Academy, we mainly study English from a functional point of view. After all, most people have more use of practical skills such as knowing how to negotiate a contract or how to succeed in a job interview, than knowing the origin of the word orange or the difference between an adjective and an adverb. We do, however, offer workshops and seminars on curious aspects of English language and literature, and we also have a range of exam preparation courses.

Whether you are looking to improve your English in general, need to sit an exam for your Citizenship, want to learn how to use the language to succeed in business, are looking for a book circle, or need help to pass your exams we probably have what you are looking for. And if not, give us a call and we'll see what we can do for you.

General English

Exam Preparation

IESOL

Functional Skills

Business English

English for Business & Communication

Spoken English

English Language

English Literature

English Workshops & Seminars